Volume 3: Accidentally Like a Martyr

THE HOST FROM THE SOUTH

Accidentally Like A Martyr

by J. Ian Manczur

Thunder rolled softly in the distance. The wind had picked up, scattering debris on the streets with a clattering playfulness. It was definitely going to rain, just a matter of time. Thomas sighed and squatted as comfortably as he could on the rooftop. The climb had been exhausting, but he had expected it. After all, the building had not been designed for easy access to the roof. It was worth the effort, though, the view was spectacular.

The building that sufficed as his abode for the evening was the tallest on the block by at least a whole floor. Except for the hospital that obscured the east, Thomas had an almost perfect perch to spy the entire area. He could see the dark silhouettes of what had once been the grand metropolis to the north, the blackened smoke of the ever-raging fires melding with the coming storm clouds to the north east and the literal darkness that had enveloped his entire civilization any direction he looked. Thomas couldn’t shake the feeling that it was indeed over, that all that would be left of humanity was its ruins.

With the night’s functions over, the unaffected joined the sleepless on the three other rooftops that made up this particular section of the block. Thomas was staying in the westernmost house; his border being the dark expanses of Beuller Park, their unfortunate destination for the next day. No one was happy with staying on the ground for any length of time, but it was the only choice they had. A river blocked the north and fires had begun to ravage the eastern part of town. The southern route meant retracing steps, reliving horrors, and definitely fighting for every inch of movement. West, through the park, was the only viable option, even though it would more than likely lead to their deaths.

Thomas turned to his host, whom were busy distracting themselves from the what ifs and maybes of tomorrow. Tonight, they would make the most of it. Thomas spied a few couples watching the coming storm, enjoying what might be their last night together. A loud bellow from two houses down drew Thomas’ attention. It was Andy, pissed off about something again. Chris and Erik ran after him, trying to calm him down. Hassan and Jeremy chuckled at the sight and returned to robbing goods from the newbie soldiers in a game of poker. AJ and John played War silently, wishing that Ike and Better Dave were still here for their once nightly game of Hearts. Meanwhile, George, with his baby blues and beautiful voice, serenaded the girls and their hopeful courtiers with guitar in hand. Humanity was not in ruin after all, life was progressing as it always had.

The moment was ruined by a shrill call from the inside. Other Dave was beckoning and as much as Thomas would have liked to ignore him, he knew he couldn’t. Thomas called in acknowledgment and began his slow descent inside.

Other Dave began before Thomas even reached the floor, “I just want to say that your speech went over really well, sir. I believe, no, I know that the mood has not only risen but is elevated to a level it was never at before. We were all truly inspired, I know I was.”

Thomas stared at him silently.

Other Dave waited for him to say something.

Thomas continued his silence.

Other Dave went on, “Anyway, I just wanted to remind you that the good doctor is expecting you in an hour.”

“And this couldn’t wait for… what reason?”

“I figured you would want some time to prepare. Punctuality is the essence of success.”

Thomas didn’t bother to respond, instead he moved to the window to once again listen to the music outside.

“I’ll leave you alone for now. Remember, one hour!”

Thomas didn’t even acknowledge his exit. Soon, the guitar playing was over and people were headed to what they hoped to be peaceful sleep. Thomas’ night had only just begun. Showering and shaving with a jug of water and donning his one good pair of clothes, Thomas felt clean for the first time in two weeks. He even recognized himself in the mirror, a feeling he thought would never happen again.

The doctor’s apartment was located in the same building. As he walked down the two flights to the bottom floor, Thomas wondered how he would convince her to join the group or even if he should. He approached the door and hesitantly knocked, growing louder with each subsequent rap. The woman who opened the door stunned Thomas into a brief silence. She was a short brunette radiant in her summer dress. Thomas fumbled for an introduction, barely able to say his own name.

“A pleasure to meet you, Thomas, or is it Father Thomas?”

“Tom is fine, and the pleasure is all mine, Doct..”

“Felicia. There’s no need for formality.” She led him inside. “You know, you’re a little shorter than I pictured, but then from the stories I’ve heard, I expected a giant. You certainly are preceded by quite the reputation.”

“All lies.”

“And each with at least a grain of truth, I bet. But, come inside. I hope you’re hungry. I didn’t know if you had eaten yet, but I prepared some food anyway. Nothing too fancy.”

“I am a bit peckish.”

“Good. I’m sorry I can’t offer more, then again, I’ve never much of a cook. I’m sure a decent amount of wine will make this meal the best you’ve had in awhile.”

“Midnight is my favorite time to start drinking.”

“I know, I know, it’s kind of late, sorry for that, but I’ve always been sort of a night owl.”

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t have time to sleep anyway.”

The food was terrible. Thomas bore with it out of politeness, nibbling every now and then. Meanwhile, Felicia busied herself with small talk that would have been appropriate and even funny if not for the absurdity of the stories in the face of the apocalypse. Thomas listened with the occasional nod and comment, not having much to say beyond that, and noticed that during pauses Felicia drank more and more of the wine. Upon pouring her third glass, she noticed Thomas looking.

“I’m sorry, I drink when I’m nervous.”

“Oh don‘t be, I‘m sorry that I‘m...”

“No. No, its not you. I..I just haven’t hosted anyone in a long time.”

“It is the end of the world.”

“Hah hah, long before that.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“It's true, I’ve always been so caught up in my work.”

“I understand how that can be.”

“Yeah, work, life, I was actually writing a book before this whole thing happened.”

“Really? What was it about?

“It's silly, a fictionalized account of the Spanish conquest of the… I’m boring you.”

“No, it’s interesting.”

“You don’t have to patronize.”

“I’m not. Do you still have a copy? I‘d like to read it.”

“It’s really not that good.”

“I’m sure it’s phenomenal.”

“Maybe one day… So, what brought you to the priestly profession?”

“Believe it or not, fate.”

“Divine providence?”

“No, nothing like that, I mean maybe, I honestly don’t know. Enough about me, so I‘m led to believe you‘re an academic…”

“Once upon a time, about twenty years ago. I was more of a glorified teacher for the past couple of decades. But, what is this enough about me? I‘ve been doing all of the talking.”

“Sorry, I’m not much of a talker.”

“Nonsense, I heard your speech earlier. It was wonderful.”

“It’s the smaller kind of talking that I fail at.”

“Well, I have the perfect thing to open you up.” Felicia reached over and filled Thomas’ glass.

“Trying to get me drunk, are you?”

Felicia winked. “No, just trying to loosen you up a bit.”

A bottle and a half later found the two drunk on the couch, losing themselves in the stories of their lives both pre- and post-apocalypse. Thomas was now doing most of the talking.

“I wasn’t completely naked and covered in blood, like you may have heard.”

“I haven’t heard anything of the sort.”

“Well… that’s the story they tell. I was shirtless, however, and drenched in blood and wielding a chainsaw. You’d be surprised, everyone touts the chainsaw as this go to weapon. I find it unwieldy and ineffective, hell, I lost it against the first.. creature I killed. So there I am: out of ammo, weaponless, have the two kids behind me with about twenty of those damn things heading straight at me.”

“Oh my God.”

“My thoughts exactly. In fact, I was ready to make my peace with him. I expected to die, but maybe, just maybe I could stall long enough for the kids to get away. I grab their attention, the creatures, not the kids, and bolt for the door. I’m running wildly and I can hear their feet pounding right behind me, I can feel them reaching out for me. I make it to the door, fling it open and slam it shut behind me.”

“You are one lucky..”

“Oh, it’s not even close to over. So, now I’m outside and at least one hundred creatures are looking straight at me. A real out of the fire into the frying pan situation.”

“Wait.”

“What?”

“I don’t think you said that expression… never mind.”

Thomas paused for a second. “Fair enough. Where was I? Oh, right. They charge and I literally have nowhere to go. I notice a small gap in their numbers to my right and head that way. It leads me into an alley and straight into a dead end. The creatures (and I apologize for using that term so much but I hate the name “zombies,” makes them seem like some horror movie cliché) anyway, the creatures are right there. In fact, my only saving grace was that they were sort of clambering over each other to get to me. That’s when I see a fire escape a little above me, with the ladder still in the locked position, you know, when its not fully extended to the ground. But, the only way to get up there would be to do this kind of complex jump from the garbage cans to the ladder. Now, I’ve never been called nimble in my life, let alone at my age, but I say, why not, if I’m going to die, might as well try out some fancy footwork. And I make it. If you asked me to repeat the jump, I couldn’t for my life, but that time, it worked like magic.”

“What happened to the kids?”

“I’m just getting to that. So, anyway, the two kids, bless their souls, made their way upstairs, coincidentally to the room that attached to the fire escape. I’m now reunited with the them, but it’s only a matter of time before the creatures figure out how to get to us. All of a sudden, I hear a loud set of honks. It’s Jack, coming back for us. You’re not going to believe this, but Jack rounds the corner with a school bus of all things. He sees us and plows through the creatures straight to the fire escape. I help the kids down and jump to the roof of the bus. We finally reach safety and that’s the true story of how I saved those kids.”

“That’s amazing.”

“No, no. It’s what anyone would have done given the circumstance.”

“That’s not true at all.”

“I’m flattered, but…alright, my turn to ask a question. I was wondering about something. I’m assuming you are around the same age as me, if not a little younger..”

“How old do you think I am?”

“Hah, not falling for that one. I’m assuming we are about the same age, correct?”

“That would depend on your age, wouldn’t it?”

“A lady never asks, a gentleman never tells.”

“Let me guess, fifty-five?”

“I don’t look that old, do I?”

“Well?”

“Fifty-four.”

“About the same age.”

“Why are we the only…slightly older individuals left? I mean, most of the survivors are in their twenties, some younger, some older, but we have at least twenty years on the others. What happened?”

“I’m not sure I follow you.”

“I guess what I’m asking is: I know how I survived, how did you?

“I’d rather not go into that.”

“You made me promise full disclosure, I would have thought that applied to you as well.”

“I hid.”

“Obviously.”

“What? You got your answer.”

“Barely.”

“What more do you want?”

“I don’t know, maybe the whole story, unless you’re avoiding an answer for some reason.”

“…No. I should talk to someone, get it off my chest. If not you, who? I guess we all have ghosts in our past.”

“That is true.”

“In the sake of full disclosure, this isn’t even my apartment. It’s my sister’s. She was a wonderful girl, kind as they come, but not much of a people person.”

“I’m sure we would have gotten along swimmingly.”

“No, you wouldn’t have. She was.. difficult when it came to anyone but me. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“We planned to head to the city together, meet some of my friends and, you know, ride out the storm. I had come down to pick up my sister when.. IT happened. She was out, picking up some last minute things from the store and I stayed here to pack. We thought we had enough time. Then, I heard screaming outside and for some reason decided to check out what it was. I don’t remember anything that I saw out there. It.. it was just wrong somehow. So, I turned around and went back inside. That was the last time I opened the door. I didn’t open it when I heard people desperately searching for some sort of shelter. I didn’t even open it when my sister knocked, yelling to me, begging me to open the door for her. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. All I could do was sit there and cry. I could have saved her and I didn’t.”

“You..”

“No. I did. I killed her, Tom.”

Thomas didn’t know what to say, he just held her close and caressed her hair as she softly cried. “You know, if you had tried to save her, you would have probably been killed, too. You made the right choice.”

“Bullshit, but thanks for trying to cheer me up.”

Thomas smiled warmly at her.

“How about another story, got anything to raise the mood?”

“I’m short on feel good stories, unfortunately.”

“Well… what about the two kids you saved?”

“You wanted a cheery story.”

“I’m curious. What happened to them?”

“I really don’t want..”

“No. You are not going to pull that shit with me.”

Thomas sighed in resignation. “Before I tell you what happened, I should probably preface it with this story. In the chaotic first week..”

“As opposed to this week?”

“I actually find now kind of relaxing, comparatively. While I was still trying to organize the survivors, I found, I literally stumbled, upon a young lady I once knew. I’ll clarify, I didn’t really know her, per se. She used to waitress at a diner I once upon a time frequented. I saw her enough to recognize her and for her to recognize me. She happily joined up and brought her two kids with her.”

“How old are they?”

“I’m terrible with ages. Old enough to walk on their own, but too young to take care of themselves. They were cute kids. That night, their mother confessed that she had been bitten. I don’t know what she was thinking would happen once she told me. I had to do the right thing. She begged me to let her live, that she had to take care of her children. I mean, what was I to do? I had to. I promised her that I would look after her kids. I did my damndest to protect them. And then I failed, I couldn't save them.”

“From what you've told me, you did more than admirably.”

“ Wasn't enough, was it?”

“I'm sure their mother would be happy with how well you took care of her kids.”

“I got them killed. I’m sure she would be fucking thrilled with the news!” Felicia winced at the outburst. “I’m sorry, it’s still a raw nerve. They only died yesterday.”

“Yesterday?”

“Yup. Crossing over to this damned street. The two kids (I don‘t even know their names), Jack, a whole bunch of good people you don’t know and, now will never know, all died out there. The worst part is, I don’t care.”

“You do care. Otherwise, it wouldn't have affected you the way that it clearly has.”

“You’re right, I used the wrong word. I’m angry, sure. But, I should feel.. despair. It’s different, though, more of a general melancholy, if you get what I mean. The deaths themselves feel…almost natural now. Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet. Hell, maybe I haven’t been able to process any of this yet. But, I’m afraid of what might be the actual truth: that I've made my peace with it. I feel like their deaths don’t even matter. What’s a few more dead when six billion died too. I made a promise to keep them safe and I couldn't. I promised to keep all of them safe, every single one of them still waiting on me to deliver. I don’t know if I can do it. I‘m going to fail them, like I failed the kids.”

“You can save them.”

“What if I can’t?”

“You’ll find a way. We’ll find a way.”

“Well, this has certainly turned depressing.”

“Yea, kind of failed at this whole dinner thing.”

“You’re right. You are a terrible host.”

Felicia laughed at the remark. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re an asshole.”

“Every day of my life. Doesn't change the fact that you’re a terrible host.”

“I have an idea.” She grabbed him by the hands. “You want entertainment? Follow me.”

The two traveled past the kitchen to the apartment’s private balcony. It was a secluded spot overlooking the river, safe from the prying eyes of whoever else might have been awake at the hour and the ever hungering eyes of the dead. Thomas took his seat first, and although there was another chair, Felicia sat down on Thomas’ lap. Neither said anything, content with sipping wine and watching the full fury of the storm that had finally descended on the town.

Felicia broke the silence. “I’ve been thinking…”

“Yea?”

“I’ve been pretty depressed since the whole world fell apart.”

“Who hasn't?”

“Well, I just thought of something…”

“Go on.”

“No, it’s lame.” Thomas looked up disappointed. “Alright, I‘ll just say it. Without this whole thing happening, we would have never met and I‘m glad that we did.”

“Felicia?

“Yea?”

“You’re right, that was kind of lame.“ Felicia nudged Thomas in the stomach. Thomas pulled her closer. “So, what would you be doing right now if the world was right side up again?”

“Oh, probably asleep at this hour, resting for a day of lecturing to spoiled brats who couldn’t care less about what I was saying.”

“I thought you said you were a night owl?”

“Ha ha, making up for lost time. How about you? What would you be doing right now?”

“Don‘t know. Whatever it would be, I doubt it would be anywhere near as pleasurable as this.”

“Quite the charmer, aren't you?” With a passionate kiss, life continued on as it had always.